The best damn saag paneer you've ever had...and it's not saag paneer!

Last Sunday, Alana and I decided to go see Werner Herzog's new movie "Cave of Forgotten Dreams" about the drawings in Chauvet Cave in southern France. I say "we decided," but if I'm being honest, I was way more excited about it than Alana was. Let me explain. I love Herzog. I love his wacky, German-intellectual take on life (YouTube any of the "Werner Herzog Reads... videos), his filmmaking is astonishing, and the artistry of the final product is breathtaking. *deep breath* OK, all that aside, I decided it would be best to cook something before we left since we had lots of greens left over from our trip to Findlay Market earlier that week. (Collards and mustard for $1 a bunch!)

I wanted Indian food...specifically one of my favorites: saag paneer. For those of you not saag-savvy, paneer is Indian cheese and saag is spinach. I'm not an expert on Indian languages and I don't know whether the words are Hindi, Urdu, or one of the myriad of other oral-arts practiced on the sub-continent. The point is, the dish rocks and I thought with a little internet research (Manjula's Kitchen is a good one for vegetarian Indian food), and some substitutions, I could come up with something to squelch my spinachy stomach-lust.

Here's Manjula's ingredient list and my starting off point:

1 10oz chopped frozen spinach
1/3 lb paneer
2 medium tomatoes puree
1 teaspoon chopped ginger
1-tablespoon oil
2-table spoon of whole wheat flour (mixed with water)
½ teaspoon cumin seed
½ teaspoon turmeric powder
½ teaspoon red chilly powder
½ teaspoon salt or to your taste
1/3-cup heavy cream
½ tomato thinly sliced
¼ cup water
Pinch of hing or asafetida (optional)

After looking through my fridge, I found I had no spinach, no paneer, no fresh tomatoes, and less than half the turmeric that I needed. That's right. I expected to make saag paneer with neither saag nor paneer. Let me tell you, bothers and sisters, mine was better than any Indian restaurant's I've ever had. Here's my ingredient list:

1/3 bunch of collard greens

1/3 bunch of mustard greens (the spicier, the better!)

pinch of hing

almost all of a can of tomato puree

a bit of oil for frying

1/8 pound sliced mushrooms

2 Tbsp flour mixed with water to form paste (keeps the mess from separating)

1/3 cup heavy cream

1 tsp chopped ginger (fresh, please!)

1 cup cubed mozzarella cheese

And then the spices:

1/8 tsp turmeric

1/8 tsp crushed red chili (more if you like it hot)

1 1/4 Tbsp garam masala powder

1/8 tsp fennel powder

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/4 tsp ground cumin

1/4 tsp chili powder

*Note: I don't measure spices, I add to taste and smell so all measurements are approximations

How I did it:

Over medium-high to high heat, add a bit of oil to a heavy saucier and then fry the shrooms. When done, evacuate to a paper towel for proper oil-whickage. Put some water on to boil while you wash and roughly chop your vegetation. Blanch the greens and immediately submerge in an ice-water bath to stop the cooking. Mix your spices together (not the hing) and set aside. Still have that mushroom oil? Good. You'll need to keep about 2 Tbsp in the pan. Over medium heat, wait until the oil is hot and add the pinch of hing. (Warning! Hing smells weird. Be brave, grasshopper, the weird smell is outweighed by the benefits of hing to vegetable dishes!) Add about half of the spices and all of the ginger to the hot oil and stir to combine. Once that's a smooth paste, add the tomato puree and stir some more. Once the mixture is hot, add the foliage and stir some more. Reach for the flour/water paste, dump it in the pan, and...stir some more. Once thoroughly combined, toss the heavy cream in the pool and stir (if your arm has fallen off at this point, ask a friend to help). Add the rest of the spices...while you stir...and the fried shrooms too. Cover and allow to cook for 5-7 minutes. Have you contemplated what to put your not-saag (naat-saag?) on? Now's a good time. Since Alana is allergic to rice, we did couscous with salty water. Vegetable broth makes a good liquid too. Next time I make this, it'll be mushroom stock that we have left over from another dish we recently made. Give naat-saag another stir. If you find that the sauce has started to stick to the bottom of the pan, you're done and you can add the mozzarella cubes. If not, re-cover and cook for a few more minutes.

While this is somewhat unorthodox, the mozz adds an extra level of richness, as well as a fun stringy-ness, to the finished product.

Ideas For Substitutions/Additions:

Chickpeas

Mushroom stock for the couscous or rice (as mentioned above)

Ground mustard powder might make a nice addition to the spice mixture

Firm Tofu - pressed and cubed

When substituting, go for earthy and rich flavors that will stand up to the dairy and the greens. If you need to brighten the spices a bit, add more garam masala and if you're feeling adventurous, think about some amchour powder. It's dried, powdered mango and while that seems weird, just a little will add brightness to the dish without adding an unexpected citrus punch to your face.

If you do play with this recipe, and I hope you do, please post your version in a comment!

P.S. A note on the lack of photo: we ate it all before we could snap one. If your pile of naat-saag looks like someone has already chewed it for you, it's perfect.